the dire influence
it comes along with darkness
this chain protects me
slowly working this out in my head. if i can stay distracted long enough to finish this. music helps. Mad Child EP. one song down.
im not sure what to do anymore. hes not throwing up so far. thats good. an improvement. but he’s not eating either. only 2 cups and third can of wet food would have served as snack fodder a few years ago. when he came to live in his forever home - he used to eat with the vigor of a starving man freshly rescued. every night.
now, its a struggle for him to even get his medication. ive tried hiding in treats, just mixed in… no luck. i need to try to keep focused on this puzzle. get him to eat somehow. if i have to get him better quality protien. it’ll be a while before i can do that.
i’m tired looking at the screen, wondering what it is im supposed to do now. i don’t think anyone would know. so there’s no one who can pass along the secret im missing. in order to make certain i stay focused, i put a reminder on myself. in this case… a less permanent reminder.
my neck is the most recent place i’ve begun tattooing myself - as if its difficult to miss that point. ha. no real reason to actually cover that… i suppose. but along with that art - i’ve wrapped myself in steel. heavy enough to keep the weight of situation in the forefront of my conscious.
i hear it clang. the noise is another reminder. keep one eye on how to help him. the work has to take a back seat. i’m just not that confident i can do that.
what am i going to do when he’s gone?